• itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    21 minutes ago

    turn off read receipts, easy

    and any decent messenger can mark chats as unread, so if you’re using it as a reminder, just do that

  • Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de
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    16 hours ago

    I missed the part about read receipts, and I thought this was about being ADHD.

    I leave text messages unread as a reminder to do something like pick up a medication and then accidentally read the message sometimes. Oh shit indeed

    • CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      Jap, the only way my ADHD can deal with long texts (or those where I have to check actively check sonething, or Film out a doodle etc).

      Now you’ve got to drop anything else and commit to it right now; or annoy the other person by writing “remind me again tonight”

      • NiHaDuncan@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Or just set a reminder.

        I used to just set alarms but then there’d be a 50% chance I wouldn’t remember what it was set for.

        • CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world
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          9 hours ago

          Oh that wouldn’t work for me. Alarms would pop up exactly at the wrong moment (maybe when I’m on the toilet etc) and after dismissing they’re out of sight out of mind. I need something that stays pinned until I can actually actively do it. (And snoozing would drive crazy.)

  • cRazi_man@europe.pub
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    22 hours ago

    I know we’re here for the joke, but can I be real for a minute:

    There is absolutely no reason to have read receipts on and everyone should turn them off. You gain nothing from seeing someone has seen a message. You want a reply…wait for a reply. You gain absolutely nothing from letting others know you’ve seen a message. Try turning off read receipts for a little while. I guarantee your life will be better and you may never turn them on again.

    The only exception is my wife. I find it useful to know she’s seen the shopping list I’ve sent her, even if she didn’t get a chance to reply. But then again, she’s the only one I’ve convinced to use Signal, so she’s in a separate app and I can keep read receipts on just for her.

    Pro level next step:

    Try turning off notifications. Put messaging app notifications to silent, minimised and never on lock screen. If there’s something urgent then someone will phone up. We all check our phones often enough to see the message badge soon enough. Silencing the endless pings of alerts will give you a serenity you may have never experienced before. Try it.

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      17 hours ago

      I have mine turned on for my partner and nobody else. I also have my location turned on for my partner and nobody else. I love and trust my partner more than anyone in the world, we have no secrets from each other, and knowing where my phone is and when I’ve seen their texts has been invaluable before!

      But everyone else on earth, nah. If my parents asked me to turn that stuff on, honestly, I would (I’m old and have an extemely good relationship with my parents) but they’ve never asked about that. My parents do have read receipts enabled on their end, because they’re even older than me lawl

    • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      16 hours ago

      I’m with you on this. I have very few notifications enabled, and read receipts are off on my end (except signal, where like you I only have 2 contacts, and I don’t mind them knowing that I flaked to hell on replying, because they are also neurospicy or intimate partners, and we just have a sort of understanding that as long as we are still close, it’s fine to leave stuff until you can handle it.)

      It’s really liberating. I can read texts and then set them back to unread so I know I need to follow up, but nobody else knows I’ve even seen it.

      I genuinely wouldn’t be able to turn off notifications tho, not entirely… I absolutely do not look at my phone enough to see the badges. Even with notifications on and set to re-alert 3x, I miss a ton of shit because I try not to use my phone much anymore (I doom scroll too much and video games are better for my health even if they are full of war crimes and sort of fucked morals like rimworld.

    • Egonallanon@feddit.uk
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      21 hours ago

      I’m with you I turned off read receipts and muted all group chats I’m in a while ago and it’s done wonders for how on edge I feel. So much calmer than I was before.

    • FrChazzz@lemmus.org
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      19 hours ago

      I did all of this years ago and it is bliss lol

      Another thought about read receipts, can’t spammers and phishing scammers use those to determine if a number is active in order to send more trash?

    • TragicNotCute@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Let me give you my perspective and the reason I turn them on.

      It builds accountability. I want to be a timely replier of texts, but sometimes I fail. Even worse, sometimes I open it and forget to reply at all. This forces me to leave them unread until I’m ready to address them. I know the sender will see that I have read them, so it incentivizes me to manage my texting better.

      • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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        1 hour ago

        accountability for responding to texts? i am not “accountable” for responding to a text immediately. that’s some gen alpha bullshit

        • TragicNotCute@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          Heaven forbid I decide how I want to behave and hold myself accountable. 🙄

          And you’re welcome to think the way I want to conduct myself is bullshit, but you’re way fucking off on the generation I’m in.

      • zout@fedia.io
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        21 hours ago

        My perspective: If it’s urgent, don’t text me, it’s called a phone. If you do text me, you accept that I will answer it when it suits me. Even if I have read the text already.

        • Dave@lemmy.nz
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          15 hours ago

          Yeah if I’ve read it and not responded, you’re not getting a response. I forgot as soon as I looked away.

    • angband@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      haha, clue into me missing weeks worth of messages with noone the wiser. Mostly worth it. slowly learning to pay attention again.

    • Eheran@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      Stop acting as of you speak for everyone, super annoying. Turn it off if you do not want it. Very easy.

  • BroBot9000@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Just disable that trash. Nobody is entitled to your time and attention whenever they want. It’s also fucking creepy

      • eneff@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 hours ago

        I think it is really useful to be able to tell that someone has seen a message and recieved the information within, without them having to write a pro forma reply.

        This really doesn’t have to be an issue, if your social circle has reasonable expectations and people aren’t insecure enough to guilt trip you because of it.

  • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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    22 hours ago

    Really wish I could turn them off. I have two people immediately come to mind where if they see I read it they will guilt me for not responding immediately.

    One of them now also lurks at my online status on steam. I can be playing a role playing game or anything and they won’t care, in their mind I’m free to hang out right then.

    • otacon239@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Set yo boundaries yo! I agree with what others are saying here. Turn them off! No one needs to know if you’ve read jack. And if I had someone skulking online status and expected me to be available based on that, I’d nip that in the bud quick. I’m available when I respond and say I’m available. Otherwise, tough luck.

      You are the only one in control of your availability. Let others know.

  • SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net
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    13 hours ago

    Trying to sort out of this is a xena meme or a marvel meme…

    I’m sort of guessing marvel? But it looks cheesy like xena… maybe it’s neither?