You can ignore it all if you want, but here’s my infodump from a lifetime of hooptiness, including many Germans. I just took my ADHD meds and for some reason this is what I decided to focus on instead of work. Guess the meds don’t work as great as I’d hoped.

So I’ve owned a Chrysler (2 actually, one was a parts car) that was developed before the merger and manufactured after it. I’ve driven a Jeep developed after the merger. I’ve owned a Benz built after the merger, that the 300 C and the Dodge Charger/Challenger were based on (W211 E-Class), and a Benz built long after Chrysler was sold.

I’ve also owned a BMW, 4 Audis (B4, B5, C5, C6 platforms), a Porsche (first gen Cayenne S with the great sounding, but sadly flawed V8), a boring yet also very cool Subaru Outback and a few other cars that don’t really even deserve a mention. Grew up driving Volvos where the models didn’t have letters in them yet. Also have driven a W124 Mercedes.

I’ll maintain that even after the merger, Mercedes made some of the best cars to drive, and even great cars to own. But here in Estonia, they’re usually diesels. Many of their petrol engines were flawed unfortunately. Chrysler, however, lost in its uniqueness, but gained in technology. The 300 M I owned felt more like a luxobarge than the W211 I replaced it with - which is what the newer Chrysler 300 C is based on. The interior felt more special too, but the drivetrain was of course horrible (3.5 HO engine, 42LE transmission). Mine was fairly reliable after a bunch of fixes.

I think you need to be a moron to own an Audi from the 00s. That’s why I drive one right now, a C6 allroad. Yes, the one with air suspension all around, and yes, mine still has it at 400k km. It’s even nicer to drive than my W211 Mercedes was, because the Mercedes was an early one with a 2.7 R5 diesel (weakish) and the 5 speed box, whereas my C6 is a remapped 3.0 tdi with the 6 speed ZF box. It goes like absolute stink for a diesel wagon and it’s pretty plush, you can barely feel bumps. The Audi is falling apart though, with fewer kilometers on it than the Benz, which was still on its original nearly-everything. Transmission and turbo are on their way out on the C6. Audi is also way worse to work on than BMW or Mercedes IMO, though some parts are easier.

That particular Benz I owned when I went to test drive a brand new Hyundai Ioniq 5 when they came out. The Hyundai blew it out of the water with acceleration, being electric. The Benz felt weak afterwards. But holy hell was it so much more comfortable than the Hyundai, and sooo much more feedback from the road, while the feedback was not obnoxious. Hell, the Audi doesn’t even give much feedback, sometimes I’m wondering what the hell I’m doing.

After the W211, I leased a 2019 C-Class in 2022, which I would still have if my ex hadn’t fucked my life up completely financially. It was a stellar car. 2.0 diesel, but it FLEW despite only having 143 kilowatts. The 9G-Tronic box is just that amazing. It was a tad more comfortable than the E-Class despite being a lower class, since it was of course 15 years newer. It also didn’t have any rust, and I never needed to replace a single part in it, having taken it from 140k km to 240k km (okay I lie, I replaced filters and brake pads). This is what I expect from any car of course. This was the last C-Class where you’d get a rotary dial as the main interface, so I consider it the peak UX for the C-Class. Afterwards, you’re looking at touch screens mainly. But in this car I felt the start of the actual downfall of Mercedes. It’s much nicer than its predecessor C-Classes, but compared to the older E-Class I owned, it didn’t have that bank vault feeling. It didn’t feel like it was all metal, it felt more plastic.

W210 despite its look and rust issue is I think the peak E-Class, owing to how solid it feels, while still keeping the plush ride of the W124 (okay the W124 was softer). W211 takes another step in making the handling sharper and giving you more feedback. More engaging to drive, still feels rock solid, but not as plush. VERY good equipment if it was loaded though. After that you keep hearing more about quality issues, but to some degree they’re outweighed by the advances in technology (new transmissions, etc). Even the newer ones go a million kilometers if you get diesel, they just don’t feel as well built.

Audi and Porsche - I have a love-hate relationship. B4 was one of the best cars I’ve ever owned, and it was an amazing sounding inline 5. B5 was great but didn’t own it for long. V6 Quattro, manual. Epic winterbeater, though mine was in great condition. C5 was super comfy, but took a lot of fuel for a diesel, plus it was the one known as Hitler’s revenge (2.5 tdi). 5 speed ZF box wasn’t the best either. The C6 is a pleasure to drive. 3.0 tdi is an amazing engine, though it’s also on the thirstier side for a diesel. But the C5 and C6 both feel completely disconnected from the road compared to the B5.

Porsche is great though. The Cayenne felt both sporty and comfy, went like stink, and the 6 speed Aisin box was rock solid. It had diff locks and a goddamn two speed transfer case! Now this is not what most people think of when they think of Porsche. But it shows what their engineering is like. It’s a step above Audi and Mercedes. You got decent enough road feedback for a plushy SUV, a grunty engine (though the turbo ones are way better) and the bumps that you felt, were all smoothed out by the superb air suspension.

My BMW was pretty broken because I bought it from some shady guys, but it had the best steering feel out of all these cars. It was an E61. BMW also makes some of the best engines (the inline 6 ones, other than the N57 diesel which sucked). Mercedes no longer makes the best engines, BMW does now with the B57 and B58. Transmission-wise, the ZF 8HP Audi and BMW now use (BMW started sooner) is great, and the Mercedes 9G-Tronic is even better.

Nowadays they all make ugly ass touchscreen UX though. I think BMW still gives you the rotary knob even in newer models though.

Next I want to own either a Range Rover 4.4 TDV8 (so a facelift L322) if possible as a company car at my own company, or an Audi Q7 or Porsche Cayenne diesel, preferably with the 8 speed box for either, but that’s hard to find for a good price. Low cars and putting a heavy infant in a baby seat sucks, and I want as much metal around her as possible because while I drive very safely when she’s in the car, I can’t control other people’s behavior.

TL;DR: Mercedes makes great cars, but has lost their way in the last few years, with the downfall having started over a decade ago, but still long after the Chrysler merger. Audi makes great cars, but they fall apart and are shit to work on compared to MB. Audis also have little to no road feel. Starting in the 90s and 00s, MB has more road feel and IMO is still more reliable than Audi. BMW has the best road feel (which inherently makes it a bit less plush) and makes the best engines after Mercedes retired their old inline 6 and 5 engines and NA petrols. Porsche just does its own thing and makes awesome shit, but sadly I haven’t driven a 911 or Cayman/Boxster. Was impressed with the Cayenne though. W124 Mercedes was the most comfortable car I’ve driven on a crappy road though. Even on coil springs it beats my airsprung beasts. W140 I imagine is even better.

PS: You’d also be a moron to own nearly any 00s German car if you can’t work on them yourself at all. It took me all day to do the rear shock mounts on my Audi because of broken bolts. Even if a shop had gotten things done in half a time, 5 hours of shop time is still super expensive. 10 hours of my lost productivity is also very expensive, but to me it’s a fun break from the work I get paid for which is software engineering. I have my own driveway and small garage Parts are super cheap, labor is super expensive. Over the last few weeks I think I’ve installed 300 or 400 euros worth of parts for 0 euros worth of labor, but it would’ve easily cost me 2k to get everything done in a shop. All important stuff too - brake stuff, suspension stuff.

PPS: I find that German cars are more fuel efficient than their Japanese counterparts. More expensive to keep running though. That’s why an old friend said: “The more you save at the pump, the more you spend in parts”. He was talking about a diesel Audi that used nearly no fuel, but had severe issues at the time. I had the Chrysler at the same time (or maybe he still had it - it was his old car) and minus the catastrophic engine damage and transmission fluid leaks, it the powertrain side of it was actually cheap to keep running. My current Audi has a really sensitive fuel system, so did the BMW and the Mercs, particularly the W205. I think that one had the fuel at over 2000 bar at peak load, the older models have been 1600 bar or so. That’s over 23000 psi if you’re American. My Subaru, 2013, 2.5 liter NA petrol engine, had similar or worse fuel economy compared to my 1999 Chrsyler, 3.5 NA petrol engine, similar-ish weight, but the Chrysler was more aerodynamic probably. My Germans have all been diesels and all took less fuel, some of them below 4l/100km on the highway, or around 60 US MPG.

PPPS: If you want to get into used German cars at all, I’m your man lmao, I know pretty much all the common faults of every model, engine, transmission for some time periods. I buy my cars by engine and transmission first and foremost.