“Hey honey, I fear for my life in this situation I engineered. Because of your gender I need you to go face that danger instead. BTW if you don’t do this, I will question your gender identity.”
Even in your own little bubble, your hate doesn’t make sense.
I know this obviously wasn’t your intention, but you managed to encapsulate the attitude of my ex and her family to the letter.
I grew up with food insecurity and poverty, she came from wealth. My family was always open and honest about our thoughts and feelings, her family had strict expectations and roles.
Both her and her mom would constantly engineer situations where I would be forced to prove my masculinity, regardless of how uncomfortable, scared, tired, or belittled I felt. This included things like going out to dinner during a snow storm, moving us from one apartment to another on my own, trying to convince me to physically assault someone else to “defend” her, and purchasing heavy items online that she couldn’t lift and while I was injured.
In hindsight I can see and understand how toxic that relationship was, but at the time I was excited to be receiving any positive attention from someone I was attracted to (whenever I was able to fit their mold), and didn’t know any better.
Apologies for the long rant, your comment hit the nail on the head and also apparently triggered those memories for me.
One of the greatest feelings is having been helpful to those we care about. It’s sad that some people will abuse that to no end, and you didn’t deserve that in the slightest.
“Hey honey, I fear for my life in this situation I engineered. Because of your gender I need you to go face that danger instead. BTW if you don’t do this, I will question your gender identity.”
Even in your own little bubble, your hate doesn’t make sense.
I know this obviously wasn’t your intention, but you managed to encapsulate the attitude of my ex and her family to the letter.
I grew up with food insecurity and poverty, she came from wealth. My family was always open and honest about our thoughts and feelings, her family had strict expectations and roles.
Both her and her mom would constantly engineer situations where I would be forced to prove my masculinity, regardless of how uncomfortable, scared, tired, or belittled I felt. This included things like going out to dinner during a snow storm, moving us from one apartment to another on my own, trying to convince me to physically assault someone else to “defend” her, and purchasing heavy items online that she couldn’t lift and while I was injured.
In hindsight I can see and understand how toxic that relationship was, but at the time I was excited to be receiving any positive attention from someone I was attracted to (whenever I was able to fit their mold), and didn’t know any better.
Apologies for the long rant, your comment hit the nail on the head and also apparently triggered those memories for me.
Glad to hear she is an ex.
One of the greatest feelings is having been helpful to those we care about. It’s sad that some people will abuse that to no end, and you didn’t deserve that in the slightest.
I hope you’re doing better these days. <3